I’m sorry Rebecca Black, but you have nothing on these “hot girls”.
What’s bound to be the next punch in the face moment on YouTube (already 1 million views deep) is Hot Problems by Double Take. Before you close the window because your richly tuned ears can’t possibly take another second of the sound of nails being viciously dragged across a black board, I’m telling you it’s worth it. You can’t make up the shit you are about to watch.
I get it Double Take—you and I have the same problems, except your problems are far worse than mine, because you classy gals, are hot. And I’m just the dirt on an old ratty sneaker. What do I have to offer, but modest thoughts and opinions on an online magazine. If only I were hot, that way I would be able to contribute to society in a more meaningful way, such as writing a song that sheds light on the difficulties of being attractive and posting a video of it on the internet.
For the girls of Double Take, their first-world problems are notable enough to bitch and whine about. It’s a rough life being hot and they don’t hold back on how difficult it is. Girls and guys call them names and start rumors, but they don’t give a fuck, they can’t be tamed like Miley Cyrus. And yes, they do name drop Miley, and it’s poetry like you’ve never heard before or ever will.
Ladies, while your high school and egocentric mentality may give you the best years of your life, the cold hard truth is the real world that is beyond your “hot problems” won’t be very forgiving. I recommend you do a double take on yourselves after your 5 minutes of internet fame wears off. Or until your parents view your masterpiece.
Jocelyn is a graduate of English and Communications from SFU. She loves all animals, but her heart is cat shaped. She hopes to release her cat fashion line in the near future.